As you have heard, the original broom of doom has bit the dust. Now, you can own a memento of the original with The Relic of the Broom of Doom.
This purchase includes a sterling silver necklace glass vial that contains a fragment of the original broom, a magic wizards bag to keep your broom safe from harm, and a storybook page telling the legend of the broom itself.
The broom of doom began as a photo of myself holding a kitchen broom, ready to sweep the trolls away. This image has now become a standard for whenever fuckery is afoot! Now you can own a piece of the original broom to take with you wherever you go.
These are extremely limited edition, and so do not wait! We can only make so many of these because some of the bristles are too damaged to use. So once they are gone, that’s it!
Each kit comes in a vintage envelope and includes the following:
One sterling silver necklace and glass vial
One magic wizard's bag
One storybook parchment telling the Legend of the Broom of Doom
The storybook parchment reads as follows:
The Legend of the Broom of Doom
It was dark times, and trolls were dominating the World Wide Web with their Pepe memes. Wild doges were pillaging the land, gnawing the bones of the innocent. There seemed to be no hope in sight. The people were looking for a hero. They cried out in unison, “Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the gods? Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?”
These hymns fell on the ears of a powerful cleric who had been deposed to the hills. As he looked down on the suffering of those below, he wondered if it might be he who could end the suffering. He stepped down from his perch and wandered through the village. A gruff voice emerged from under a bridge, “Why do you still call yourself Father!?” the figure screamed. The cleric raised his eyebrow and turned, holding a common house broom, and said, “If you don’t like it, you can call me Daddy.” With this, he swept the bridge clean, and the troll ran toward him. Yet, before the troll could reach the cleric, he smashed the block button with the broom, and the troll disappeared.
The people of the village cheered, and the cleric promised them, “I am never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.”
Then, another voice rose up from under the bridge, saying, “I’ll take things that never happened for $500, Alex.” With this, the cleric knew his work was not done but had only just begun. So he broke the broom into a thousand silver pieces, giving a miniature silver broom to each of the villagers to wear around their necks so that they, too, could defeat the trolls… together.
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